Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
