Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
