I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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