it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
