So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
