This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
