So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
