her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
