I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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