the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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