I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
