she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
