rhymes with "ouble enetration"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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