I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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