he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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