Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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