Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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