break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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