Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he puts the penis in happiness.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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