She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
should my penis look like a turkey
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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