The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
