stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
