brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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