Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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