the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
