You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
