whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
