im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
