Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
