Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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