You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
