So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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