He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
