Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
