11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
