Porn is love you can see.
he thought i was a dude.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
