Don't you send me to vm
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I just want to make out with him forever
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
