Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
