Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
