IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
