i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
