If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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