People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
