Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
