i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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