its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
