a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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