Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
