as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
