She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
